Not too long ago, I went through a really hard time. God warned me before it happened but nothing could have prepared me for the pain that pierced through my heart from how I was treated for absolutely no reason.
At the exact moment that I was weaker than I had been in a long time, there was a decision that was presented to me that looked like the greatest thing in the world but I knew in my spirit it was sent from the enemy. I still entertained it long enough to make the decision about whether to take the bait or not.
God gave me a dream that helped me to realize where I was at. I had come a long way although I was very discouraged in my process and I was wondering when God was going to FINALLY deliver me like he has promised me so long ago. Not only was I seeking my own deliverance but I was hanging on for other people who had no idea I was hanging on for them and I was getting super weak. Its a miracle that I did not throw all of the progress away.
In this dream I had the keys to the deliverance of the ones that I was accountable for but I had left a window open. In this dream I believe the meaning was that the enemy had a way in through this window to kill steal and destroy and that I could change the positive direction by the decisions that I am making. I could experience a sudden change in plans by doing what Esau did when he sold his birthright for some poridge. Im sure he felt he had a good reason. He was in a bind, he was tired and hungry. I know exactly that feeling.
It seems like my weakness, sadness and needs now is more important than the inheritance that seems so far away and unattainable.
It was a warning to keep on going and even though I was weak to reach up one more time and ask God to please help to move anything out of my way that was not for me and to give me strength to make the decision that honors a destiny that is written by God himself.
So Lord do all that you want to do in this because you are my only hope anyways.
