I have had the impression that I am supposed to give a certain area to God that I didnt even fully realize I was carrying. God gave me a promise of restoration, but I was carrying that figment of restoration with my own two bare hands thinking that only I could bring it to pass along with my long repertoire of prayers. And dont get me wrong, I think with Gods leading and a little insistence by either me or my momma, that God did bless that situation. But what I didnt realize is Im too weak to carry something that only a GOD could handle.
I was breaking myself by never releasing into his hands what he gave me. When I would pray about what to do about my situation, I would feel to give it to him. But did I? HA!
A little too hard to do.
I would vocalize, Okay God, I give it to you.
But giving this baby to God lately for me has been sitting in his presence and surrendering it to him. Surrendering the trauma of healing so rapidly underneath his power. The grief of losing battles when I knew I had already won the war. The sadness of seeing those I love suffer while I knew the reason behind it.
In the later portion of 2021, I asked God a question and I actually got an answer back!
I asked him why the same things kept happening to those that I loved deeply. He gave me the answer that night but to be honest it was shocking to see that there was so much bondage in the spiritual realm when the people were so Christian.
So I went into prayer, full on battle mode and God delivered just like he did.
But I was left exhausted and FEELING exactly like you would feel if you won a war. No Im not talking about excited or celebrating. Im talking about someone that is tired, has some scrapes and need recovering.
So, in this season, God I give it all to you.
I even give how I believe you will do this thing.
I give every idea that I tried to think up. Every bit of anxiety and MOST of all my fear. You see, fear will ROB you of so much and fear robbed me in this season. It took moments from me, caused me to lose opportunities and caused me to have to go around the bush again. But thank God I MADE IT!
In this season, while everyone is celebrating you know that you need a little downtime.
It’s time to recover after a war so big has been won.
It’s time to know that you will one day see the fruit of your labor, but that is not so important right now.
let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us,
and let us run with patience the race that is set before us
Hebrews 12:1