Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6
I really like this verse and especially this translation because it says to trust God from the BOTTOM of your heart. To me that means with everything. To me that means when everything doesn’t make sense. When it doesn’t seem like what you want will ever come.
There was SUCH a long period of time where it seemed like God was trying to get a message across to me to trust him. Like PLEASE Charity JUST trust me.
Have I not saved you from a pathological liar?
Have I not picked you up when you had no emotional strength to EVER become anything after what you went through?
And you STILL dont trust me?
Didnt I give you your iphone when you had no credit to get it?
Didnt I hand deliver your car?
Didnt I give you your apartment?
Have I not already proven myself?
Did I not help you forgive your birth father and a load you carried your whole life was lifted from your shoulders?
You see I wish I could say I always trusted God with the most intimate area of who I am–the area of love. But there’s no glamorous story over here.
I got to a place where I flat out realized and told God after him showing me so many times, that I dont trust you!
I deep down did not trust anything he did. I didnt understand why he did what he did. If I was such a great person why had I gone through what I had gone through. How could a God who claimed to be so good make me walk through those roads.
But once I realized this, I made a decision. NO matter how I felt, I was going to trust God. Peace has flooded my soul. I dont have to figure this life out on my own. I dont have to mess up my life again. My hand is safely in a God who is overjoyed to be part of this journey. He knows exactly where we are going.
God if you bring the most wonderful guy and I dont believe he is what you desire for my life, then I’ll trust you.
God if you want me to be single. Ill trust you.
Even if you dont bring what I want, I trust you.
Because the truth is everything that I have been through, you brought to bless my life anyways. You never caused a bit of what happened to happen and you still took this girl and made her who she is. You still took the worst of me and you are actively making it something beautiful.
If there is anyone who I can trust, God it IS definitely you.
Because your intentions are pure. Your intentions are for me to be developed. Your intentions are for me to find the best. Your intentions are not evil.
Its me with a wicked heart. A heart of unbelief. A heart that says you are not who you say you are.
So Lord forgive me as you work your will.
And Lord, please let me trust you.
I’ve learned my lesson. You are the only one who is worthy of my total trust.
Jesus over self.
