I think I have told my testimony quit a bit about being in my early twenties and dealing with depression, high anxiety which I believe could have led me to losing my life through suicide.

I was tormented and I went through a time period of almost doing nothing but praying and trying to heal. What I don’t think people know about my story is the same day I received my healing, I felt that I was not anywhere near healing.

I felt the same old negative way and had come to the conclusion that I would never be healed.

During this time, I had started a regimen of going up to the altar each service. I went up to the altar on this night, and I remember telling the Lord, even if I am never healed, I will still do what you want me to do with my life.

Even if I have to live with this horrible feeling and torture in my life, I will still do what I am supposed to do in life. I remember how hard it was for me to say that because only I knew the everyday torment I lived in my heart and mind.

I took a deep breath and went and sat back down on the pew. I looked around me and wondered what was different. I felt lighter.

After I did not have one thought of suicide for a whole day, I knew for a fact I was healed because that was an impossibility before God healed me. That was many many years ago now and I am still living in that freedom.

But what if I would have not vocalized at that altar that the giver was more important than the gift?