One day I was going along in life thinking that I had completely forgiven someone, but then I was placed in a scenario that I had to be around them in close proximity for a length of time. I knew that I was so emotionally involved in the situation that if I did not get it under control, I would end up confronting them and it could end up hurting my new work environment.  The comments they had made showed me they did not realize how wrong they really were and that they were unsafe for me to trust. They did not take any accountability for things they had done.

I spent some length of  time in prayer trying to work out the situation in my heart and in my mind. I sat down and I said, ” Okay, God. I obviously haven’t been able to find a solution to this for a really long time. What should I do? I can’t get up until you lead me. ” I felt like there was no way for me to ever overcome what this person had done to me and more importantly the people I loved so much. I had carried the burdens the pain of their actions caused for a really long time.

I sat there and just quieted my spirit down. I tried to calm my emotions and just listen. I picked up my phone and looked up the definition of forgiveness as if I hadn’t heard the definition one million times. But, this time the definition did something different to me. I read the definition of forgiveness is a cancellation of the debt.

I started arguing saying how can I just act like something this horrible didn’t happen. Basically, to cancel the debt to me means that I had to act like they never did what they did. I had to completely let it go. See, I thought I had forgiven them simply because I treated them so much better than they treated me. I had given them more than they deserved already.

I argued with God about the need to protect myself. The need to make sure it didn’t happen again. Then I started feeling that I just needed to trust more. See, sometimes forgiveness can’t come without trust. There is no way to forgive someone that has really done you wrong without trust that God will take care of what should have been vengeance.

If and when someone chooses to forgive, God will turn the odds to bless the person in some way shape or form. You may not see his power eradicate the person that harmed you, but you will see his love show up in some other form to make sure you are okay.

The truth is, the person that did wrong to you may never have to pay for what they did. And if they don’t, that is just a testament to God’s mercy.

And if they do have to pay for it, there is a scripture that says not to laugh when your enemy is ensnared unless God gets mad at you. ( I have no idea where that’s at..just kinda remember that..and that is definitely a ” Charity Version” ..just know I read it before )

Anyways, the next day I decided to start incorporating the cancellation of the debt thing. And something crazy happened-things changed for the better! I started treating them with a “from this day forward” mentality rather than a mentality that said, “Well, I’m giving you more than you deserve.”

This mentality also allowed me to put my trust in the only one who can’t fail-Jesus! If they ever changed or not was not in my hands, but how I handled and obeyed the scripture was. This caused me to be at peace and every time I thought about it, I would give it back to God to handle.

Unforgiveness and bitterness is too heavy of a load to carry and usually seeps in other doors and windows to ruin future relationships, depression, anger, and a host of other things.

I realize that some things that have happened to you just aren’t fair. I feel the same way about my life. There are things that should have never happened, but they did. If you are dealing with a situation, especially with a family member, take some time to ask God how to take care of your own heart.

Because even though they hurt you, don’t let them hurt you longer by holding onto the hurt when you have a God that can take care of you. God can help you have a healthy heart in spite of everything you have been through.