About four or five years ago, I made a pretty big change in my life. It was a radical change.
I have always been different than those around me not in a bad way haha. But I sensed God differently, heard him, and I guess was kinda prophetic although i dont claim to be. Idk I just kinda knew what God was trying to say to me.
I went over him voice a lot following people who I thought had more authority in the spirit than me. I always heard you needed to have confirmation of Gods voice to move forward. But not I realize that it is peoples voice that I need confirmation from God about. But there has always been a spirit in the church trying to push false ideologies that people grasp onto easily that keep people from realizing one of the greatest parts of our relationship with our father- That his holy spirit is intimate and he leads and guides us on an individual level.
But once I went through something that I NEVER wanted to go through, it pushed me to a place of fearlessness and of pursuing what was on the inside of me however faint the whisper. I was tired of the years of ignoring God, sitting on a pew living right except for the things he was whispering to me that contradicted who others believed I was.
Since then, I have been on a conquest..one that requires lots. I am a mess following a perfect God and many times I am aware of how much I in myself am lacking and of course that brings me back to the cross.
Without Him I can do nothing.
Without Him I would go right back to who I really am– a lost abandoned rejected aimless nobody
Without Him I would still be going after the wrong man
Without Him I would still be stuck in a place of pain and agony
Without Him I would not be so healed
Without Him I would have never taken up any kinda purpose that reached others
Without Him I would have never have written a book bc I dont know how to write lol
Without Him I would still be unfulfilled
Without Him I would be so many other horrible things
Yes, I am better…but I am still a mess trying to follow a Perfect God. So I’ll give myself a break.
