I had to make some TOUGH DECISIONS LATELY.
OH MY GODDDDDD!!!!
But the CRAZY THING IS!!! It should not have been tough AT ALL.
I was struggling between Jesus and all my wants and desires. My spirit knew what the answer was but for the longest time I was struggling within myself.
But you want to know the truth. There would have been a time when I would have said God would not have asked this of me! He aint asking anyone else to do that and I aint doing it!
He hasnt asked anyone else to put behind school and just seek him on the floor of my room until I am well again. He wouldnt ask anyone else to let go of that man who is fervently pursuing me and looks like the best thing since sliced bread was made..he wouldnt ask me to lay down my desire to be a freaking high payed CEO…bc doesnt God want whatis best for us?
But as I sat there weighing my options..I decided to do what I always do (lately) and just TRUST. I stepped out onto a cliff with JEsus again. ( you know how they say if someone asked you to jump ioff a cliff..well.. I really believe God asked me to do that. Or so it felt inside of me as I layed down what I wanted, what I thought was right for me, and I said ..here Lord here it is AGAIN
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, If you say it, I’ll do it.
Wow! What a hard way to live. I am not lying lol. They try to portray this Christian walk as a gumball machine for all the new believers but let me tell you..
For me, since I actually really live for God and he is not just a Sunday morning God to me, it has been DIEING to my flesh.
Now I do see that my life (to me) has only gotten better since I started saying yes all the time but it has been great sacrifice.
But as I sacrifice I take his hand, in expectation of the great future he has for me, and the familiar feeling of my flesh once again dyeing starts to feel good, and I once again come into alignment with my father.
